Now here's the disclaimer: I'm not trying to offend anyone. I'm simply, and quickly, expressing what works for me and why.
He is not hubby, the lover, the boy, the whatever - he doesn't need a title in relation to me because he's an independent, living being. He's Jon. This is Jon who had a beard and shaved it off, who vacuums because I hate it, who graciously puts the toilet seat down, who has an affinity for PBR and potato chips and captures the memories of our lives. He's Jon, and that's what I'm calling him.
jfm (We'll work on this anonymity later!)